Gunther Googs

Gunther (pre-kids)

So today hubby and I were driving by our local dog park and we were commenting on how our dog hasn't seen a dog park in quite some time. We were reminiscing about when our beloved Gunther joined our household as a puppy, a few years before the kids were born, and how our relationship with him has changed over the years.

He was our baby.

We got up with him at night when his bladder could only hold for a few hours at a time. We made sure he had all his regular check ups at the vet. We bought him the healthiest dog foods. We brought him for walks, let him socialize at the dog park, wrestled with him on the floor, cuddled together on the couch, and made a big deal over him when we got home from work. We worried when he was sick and we always made sure he had a comfy place to sleep. In the morning he was the first thing we took care of, as he waited patiently by the back door. At night he was the last thing we checked on, kissing him good night.

Then we had kids. Our real babies.

I knew that our relationship with Gunther had really changed when I was running around the house one day, tending to one month old Maya. It had occurred to me that I hadn't really seen Gunther all day and so I said to Chris, "Have you seen Gunther lately? Where is he?".  Then I turned around in the kitchen and saw him sitting outside the patio doors looking into the house with those big brown eyes while it was thunder and lightening and pouring rain outside.

We used to make sure that Gunther was given a scoop of dog food first thing in the morning and again at dinner time. We always made sure that he didn't get too much or too little. His water bowl was always refilled. He never had to whine or tap his bowl to remind us. After having the kids Chris and I were often asking each other, "Has Gunther been fed today?", or, "When was the last time he had his flea medication".  Many times we couldn't even remember the last time he had been bathed or brushed. Was it before Christmas?

Of course our pup had no problem communicating to us his displeasure in being knocked way down on the totem pole (by peeing in the house, barking, going crazy, etc).  The whole situation was at its worst after we had Nolan. At that point I found myself constantly raising my voice at him and even swearing at him and wanting to kick him. He would shake his collar and it would wake the baby. He would get under my feet when I was trying to get the kids ready to go out. He would freak out when a guest came over and scare the kids. He would go into the nursery and get hair all over. He would whine. He would move. He would breath. He would get on my last nerve. He was the easiest person to take it out on when I was having a stressful day with the kids.

It got to the point where I would threaten to find another home for him. I would tell Chris that I didn't have it in me to take care of him while being home with the two kids. I listed all the reasons why he made my day to day life so much harder. But I knew that I loved him and couldn't just give him away to anyone.

The truth is, it would break my heart to have to say good bye to my pup - my first babe. How could I ever look him in the eye and tell him that he didn't fit into my life anymore?  It's not his fault. He's just  a dog.

A few months ago I started noticing Maya raising her voice at Gunther and bossing him around. Essentially she was mimicking how Chris and I had sometimes been acting towards him.
And so lately I have been trying to reconnect with my pup. My Gunther googs. My G-dog. My Guggenheimer (don't ask me where those nick names came from, they just always stuck).

Sometimes when the house is quiet I will go to him and give him a kiss and say, "Don't worry Gunther, you will always be my first baby". And for a brief moment all is forgiven.  

That dog still drives me nuts most days but he's a pretty darn good dog. He's great with the kids, he's loyal, and he has never really caused us too much grief.  He's a good dog.  

When we brought Gunther home as a puppy he was very anxious and so I remember singing "You Are My Sunshine" to him in the car to help calm him down. Ever since then it has been my song for him. Even when Maya and Nolan were born I made a point not to sing that song to them because I didn't want Gunther to think that I was replacing him. And so that has always been my lullaby for him. It's been a long time since I have sang it to him. I think I'm gonna go cuddle up with him on the couch tonight and give it a try.

I Think So!

Maya is super smart and surprises me on a daily basis with all of the things that she picks up on.  So it's hilarious to me when she learns a new phrase but uses it in the completely opposite context than what she actually means. You may remember me talking about this a while back when she would ask me to "Carry You?".  In the past month whenever I ask her if she wants to do something that she doesn't really want to do she will yell out, "No!". I would usually respond with, "I think so!" and then go about getting her to do whatever it is that she is supposed to do.  

Example:

Me: "Maya, are you hungry? Do you want to eat supper?"

Maya: "No!"

Me: "I think so. Dinner is ready."

For some reason she has interpreted "I think so!" as another way of saying "No", rather than saying "I DON'T think so".  Let me illustrate.

Me:  "Do you want to go upstairs for a bath?"

Maya: "No!"

Me: "Yes, lets go, it's time." 

Maya (with a really stern voice and shaking her head from side to side):  "I think so!"

Me: "Maya, it's time to clean up your toys." 

Maya (with a frown on her face): "I think so!"

Me: "Ok it's time to read a story and go to bed." 

Maya: "No bedtime, I go downstairs!"

Me: "We are not going downstairs, pick out a book to read." 

Maya (runs away yelling):  "I think so!"

Me: "Maya it's time to put on your boots for school."

Maya (throws herself onto the floor in a tantrum):  "I think so!"

When I pick her up from daycare she is always coming home with new phrases that she hears as well. This week she keeps saying things like  "True story!" and "No way Jose!". 

The cutest 23 month old ever. 

Play Time

The playroom is finally complete. Well as much as it is gonna be considering that free time to work on such projects is a commodity at my house these days.  Come on in. I will give you a quick tour. 

This room in our basement used to be the place in my house that I used as a dumping ground for random stuff, as well as a multipurpose place to do my sewing, scrapbooking, etc. It literally consisted of a desk armoire, a table, and random stuff strewn about everywhere. Nothing had a spot or a place it belonged to. It was simply the aftermath of a tornado. From the moment I started having contractions a few days before Nolan was born, I started nesting BIG TIME. I made my husband install shelving in the closets. Then I went and bought a crap load of things to organize my stuff unil it looked like this...

Much better. I was able to hide all my mess behind doors and have a brand new space to make as a play room for the kiddos. 

I know that there are a lot of people from various countries who would think dedicating a whole entire room to storing children's toys seems a bit ridiculous.  Sure, kids these days have way too much "stuff", I agree. But here's the thing.... I happen to hold a strong belief that play is one of the most powerful methods in which a child can learn, express himself, and develop important skills. Sure, children don't need a lot of toys to have meaningful play - but if you have the means to do so, why not create a space in the home that encourages exploration and creativity?

Maya has already had so many great play sessions down in here. I have actually learned a lot from her just watching her play and interacting with her. It is also such a joy when we have company over and she invites someone to come down and be a part of her world.  I love to watch her try to get grown adults to follow her into that tiny tunnel!

A few quotes about play to leave you with today:

A child loves his play, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.

Benjamin Spock

Play has been man’s most useful preoccupation.

Frank Caplan

Deep meaning lies often in childish play.

Johann Friedrich von Schiller

Play is our brain's favorite way of learning.

Diane Ackerman

Deep meaning lies often in childish play.

Johann Friedrich von Schiller

Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.

Heraclitus

Sickly Continued

Maya and Nolan during our PJ day on Sunday

Ok so I thought that things were going to be looking up in the strep throat department but not so much. Maya is pretty much on the mend but the rest of us are not. We have all been at different phases of illness. Maya got sick first, then me, then Nolan, and now Chris is starting to get symptoms. Nolan and I are feeling the worst right now. My heart breaks every time I hear Nolan try to fall asleep only to be woken up by a coughing attack. I HATE it when babies get sick. I HATE IT. I hate it even more when my babies get sick and I get sick at the same time. Bleh.

I guess the plus side of being sick is we have had a few PJ days lately. The rules of PJ day are that you stay in your pyjamas all day and you don't brush your teeth or your hair until it's time to go to bed. You mostly watch TV all day and you only eat leftovers or toast (or anything else that requires minimal effort).  If you take a bath, you must immediately get back into a fresh pair of PJs.  You are also required to nap as much as possible and are only allowed to do a minimal amount of housework (like maybe pick up the dirty kleenex and throw it in the garbage bin).

And yes, those are peace signs on Maya's PJs.

Sick Day

Ok this household has been very sickly with fevers and strep throat and allergic reactions and we have literally done NOTHING this past week. Now it is Monday and we are at the tail end of it.... still sick, but able to move about and have some sort of normal routine. Oh, and Nolan has finally decided that he likes eating solids. Sweet potatoes!

Two unrelated things:

1) When you see that another toddler has mastered a certain skill that your kid has not (or even thought about yet) what is your reaction? Usually in my case I just kind of think, "Oh right, I should get on that".   A while ago someone with a kid the same age as Maya was talking about their kid drinking out of a real cup, rather than a sippy cup (and he had been doing it for quite a while) and I was like, "Crap, it hasn't even occurred to me to give Maya a try on the regular cup".  It's not like I feel bad about it in a competition kind of way, just more of a "why didn't I think of that" kind of way. Know what I mean?

2) Do you ever just pack your kids up in the car and go for a drive for no reason? Every once in a while I will do this with the kids on those days when we have been cooped up for too long and I just need them to both be locked down into one spot for a while. This came in handy around Christmas time because we could drive around and look at Christmas lights. Today was one of those days where we had not gone anywhere for two days and I had to get out. I didn't want to actually run any errands or go visiting or anything since we were still sick, I just wanted to get out and pass the time before dinner. Please tell me I'm not the only one that does this.

I hope you had a more exciting start to the week than we have!

Valentine

My niece posing with that hilarious smile that three year olds do when you tell them to say "cheese"

Happy Valentines day y'all! We are all sick on the home front. Maya and I have the lovely strep throat and the boys are not a hundred percent so we're gonna lay low today. I was able to mutter up some energy this morning to make some heart shaped pancakes while we exchanged home made cards and the kids were presented with cheesy stuffed animals. I know it's selfish, but I'm kind of glad that we confirmed that Maya has the same thing as myself because now I can still cuddle her and kiss her and not worry about giving her anything.  Some people talk about how valentines day is just an excuse for card companies and florists to make lots of money - and they are mostly right - but why not use it as an excuse to make your loved ones feel extra special an remind them how important they are? Yes we should do that every day but today is the day where you can say it with chocolates!

So this afternoon as the babes slept I saw this picture while checking out my facebook. My brother had a flower delivered to his daughter at preschool today. It immediately gave me warm fuzzies because it reminds me of when our Dad used to do the same thing for us on valentines day when we were kids. Every year I would get a knock on my classroom door and they would announce that there was a special delivery for me. Sure, at the time it was a little embarrassing being centred out in front of everyone (I was an extremely shy kid), but as I grew older I really appreciated the gesture. Even in my adult years there were a few times when my Dad would send a bouquet of flowers to my work "just because".  My Dad is a bit of a sentimental schmuck and was never hesitant to show his affection for his kids.

Seeing this picture is the perfect way to illustrate just how much impact a father can have on his sons and daughters in the way of relationships.  I am always going on and on about this with Chris, ever since our kids have been born. I am always reminding him how important his relationship with his kids will be in establishing their self worth, as well as how they should expect to be treated (and how they should treat others).  I can tell Chris is often mindful of this when interacting with our kids. I can also tell that my father did a good job setting an example for my brother because he has turned out to be a loving husband and father himself. One who is present, who shows affection, and who has taught his daughter that she is loved and deserves to be treated well.  His simple gesture on Valentines day - starting a tradition with his own daughter - is a perfect example of how simple things can go a long way. My Dad probably didn't really think about the impact that his actions would have on his kids later on in life, but now that it is has come full circle, he can be proud of a job well done.  His kids grew up feeling loved and important, and now thanks to him so will his grandkids.

Things That Are Getting Old - Part One

Well I missed the boat and didn't get a chance to post yesterday. Better late than never I guess!

In the past few years I have really seen an increase in the sharing of personal blog posts from Moms floating around facebook. Usually someone will write their opinion about a hot topic related to motherhood and then the people who agree will share it. Or someone will bring something up that most people wouldn't say out loud and then all of a sudden everyone is raising their glasses at the person who had the balls to say something.

I personally think that this is the new medium to which our societal views on a host of topics are being influenced. Everything from women's rights to postpartum depression to how social media affects our day to day lives.  There are many posts that I can identify with, where I can honestly say they took the words right out of my mouth.

But there are certain topics that I keep coming across, over and over and over again, where I can't help but think, "Okay, I get it. But why are we still having to write about this? Why is this still even an issue being defended in 2013? This should be a non-issue by now.".


Let me use some examples....


Breastfeeding (and feeding in public):

Me feeding Nolan when he was only a few weeks old. 

All I can say is, do what you gotta do and stop worrying about what everyone else in the world has to say about breastfeeding. If you choose to use a bottle and formula go ahead and do it. If you choose to breastfeed your baby just some of the time go ahead and do it. If you choose to breastfeed your child exclusively until he or she is five years old go ahead and do it.  We will all have judgements about whether breastfeeding is better than formula feeding, whether using a bottle will cause nipple confusion, whether you should cover up, whether you should wean at a certain age or not. Our judgements are what allow us to make decisions about what is best for our families. But who cares what you actually decide to do. Really. I can't believe that we still have to defend our decisions about breast feeding to others time and time again.

When I had Maya, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and was willing to try to stick it out as long as I could. I was naive and thought, "how could it really be that hard?".  Oh my goodness, was I in for a reality check. At the very beginning I had such a hard time getting her to latch and ended up relying on a nipple shield for the first six months of her life. Looking back now, I would have done things differently but it was my first baby and I did what I had to do to survive. Because of the awkwardness involved in using the nipple shield, I felt the need to cover up every time I fed her. I was self conscious about it and envied the Moms who could just plop their kid on the boob and continue to go about their business like it was no big deal. Slowly that got better and by the time she was almost a year old that wasn't an issue for me anymore. I still used a cover when I was in certain places because I grew up seeing other women do the same in public, but I was much more relaxed about it.

When I had Nolan all my insecurities went out the window. I remember having a point in my life where I was like, "You want me to put a blanket over my baby's face so that he can eat? That's so fucked up. I can't believe I ever even did that".  Now I go by the philosophy "If you don't want to see my baby eat, then you can leave the room".  There are the odd times where I do try to find a quiet place to feed him because he is a lousy eater and it's easier with no distractions. But in a pinch, I will whip the boob out anywhere if I really have to.  I am also considering nursing Nolan longer than I did with Maya due to the fact that I have started to question why we give cows milk to toddlers and also because I don't plan on getting pregnant while nursing this time around (last time it really hurt to nurse while pregnant!). I remember some of my best friends telling me that they were starting to "wonder" about me when I was still breastfeeding Maya at eleven months old - like there was something wrong with me.  They both weaned their LO's in the first few months. I couldn't help but feel a little resentful of their judgements, being that the judgements were coming from my friends (and especially since most doctors strongly encouraged you to give breast milk for at least the first year of life).  I kept feeling the need to defend myself. Then when I did wean Maya I felt the need to defend my decision to the others who felt it was too soon, even though I knew it was the right time for us.

The point is this, ladies. We've been going on and on about this whole breastfeeding debate for quite some time now. I think it's been made clear by everyone that it is every women's basic right to breastfeed their child if they so choose to. It is their right to do it whenever and where ever and however they want. It is their right to breastfeed their child for as long as they want and it is their right to have their own opinions about breastfeeding and use those opinions to guide their parenting decisions.

This isn't the dark ages for crying out loud. Lets move on to more important things like how the heck are we not going to completely destroy our planet. I can't believe that things like this are still actually happening and that women are having to defend pictures of themselves breastfeeding on facebook to other facebook users. Seriously get over it already. It's getting old.