Gunther Googs

Gunther (pre-kids)

So today hubby and I were driving by our local dog park and we were commenting on how our dog hasn't seen a dog park in quite some time. We were reminiscing about when our beloved Gunther joined our household as a puppy, a few years before the kids were born, and how our relationship with him has changed over the years.

He was our baby.

We got up with him at night when his bladder could only hold for a few hours at a time. We made sure he had all his regular check ups at the vet. We bought him the healthiest dog foods. We brought him for walks, let him socialize at the dog park, wrestled with him on the floor, cuddled together on the couch, and made a big deal over him when we got home from work. We worried when he was sick and we always made sure he had a comfy place to sleep. In the morning he was the first thing we took care of, as he waited patiently by the back door. At night he was the last thing we checked on, kissing him good night.

Then we had kids. Our real babies.

I knew that our relationship with Gunther had really changed when I was running around the house one day, tending to one month old Maya. It had occurred to me that I hadn't really seen Gunther all day and so I said to Chris, "Have you seen Gunther lately? Where is he?".  Then I turned around in the kitchen and saw him sitting outside the patio doors looking into the house with those big brown eyes while it was thunder and lightening and pouring rain outside.

We used to make sure that Gunther was given a scoop of dog food first thing in the morning and again at dinner time. We always made sure that he didn't get too much or too little. His water bowl was always refilled. He never had to whine or tap his bowl to remind us. After having the kids Chris and I were often asking each other, "Has Gunther been fed today?", or, "When was the last time he had his flea medication".  Many times we couldn't even remember the last time he had been bathed or brushed. Was it before Christmas?

Of course our pup had no problem communicating to us his displeasure in being knocked way down on the totem pole (by peeing in the house, barking, going crazy, etc).  The whole situation was at its worst after we had Nolan. At that point I found myself constantly raising my voice at him and even swearing at him and wanting to kick him. He would shake his collar and it would wake the baby. He would get under my feet when I was trying to get the kids ready to go out. He would freak out when a guest came over and scare the kids. He would go into the nursery and get hair all over. He would whine. He would move. He would breath. He would get on my last nerve. He was the easiest person to take it out on when I was having a stressful day with the kids.

It got to the point where I would threaten to find another home for him. I would tell Chris that I didn't have it in me to take care of him while being home with the two kids. I listed all the reasons why he made my day to day life so much harder. But I knew that I loved him and couldn't just give him away to anyone.

The truth is, it would break my heart to have to say good bye to my pup - my first babe. How could I ever look him in the eye and tell him that he didn't fit into my life anymore?  It's not his fault. He's just  a dog.

A few months ago I started noticing Maya raising her voice at Gunther and bossing him around. Essentially she was mimicking how Chris and I had sometimes been acting towards him.
And so lately I have been trying to reconnect with my pup. My Gunther googs. My G-dog. My Guggenheimer (don't ask me where those nick names came from, they just always stuck).

Sometimes when the house is quiet I will go to him and give him a kiss and say, "Don't worry Gunther, you will always be my first baby". And for a brief moment all is forgiven.  

That dog still drives me nuts most days but he's a pretty darn good dog. He's great with the kids, he's loyal, and he has never really caused us too much grief.  He's a good dog.  

When we brought Gunther home as a puppy he was very anxious and so I remember singing "You Are My Sunshine" to him in the car to help calm him down. Ever since then it has been my song for him. Even when Maya and Nolan were born I made a point not to sing that song to them because I didn't want Gunther to think that I was replacing him. And so that has always been my lullaby for him. It's been a long time since I have sang it to him. I think I'm gonna go cuddle up with him on the couch tonight and give it a try.