In the past few years I have really seen an increase in the sharing of personal blog posts from Moms floating around facebook. Usually someone will write their opinion about a hot topic related to motherhood and then the people who agree will share it. Or someone will bring something up that most people wouldn't say out loud and then all of a sudden everyone is raising their glasses at the person who had the balls to say something.
I personally think that this is the new medium to which our societal views on a host of topics are being influenced. Everything from women's rights to postpartum depression to how social media affects our day to day lives. There are many posts that I can identify with, where I can honestly say they took the words right out of my mouth.
But there are certain topics that I keep coming across, over and over and over again, where I can't help but think, "Okay, I get it. But why are we still having to write about this? Why is this still even an issue being defended in 2013? This should be a non-issue by now.".
Let me use some examples....
Breastfeeding (and feeding in public):
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| Me feeding Nolan when he was only a few weeks old. |
All I can say is, do what you gotta do and stop worrying about what everyone else in the world has to say about breastfeeding. If you choose to use a bottle and formula go ahead and do it. If you choose to breastfeed your baby just some of the time go ahead and do it. If you choose to breastfeed your child exclusively until he or she is five years old go ahead and do it. We will all have judgements about whether breastfeeding is better than formula feeding, whether using a bottle will cause nipple confusion, whether you should cover up, whether you should wean at a certain age or not. Our judgements are what allow us to make decisions about what is best for our families. But who cares what you actually decide to do. Really. I can't believe that we still have to defend our decisions about breast feeding to others time and time again.
When I had Maya, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and was willing to try to stick it out as long as I could. I was naive and thought, "how could it really be that hard?". Oh my goodness, was I in for a reality check. At the very beginning I had such a hard time getting her to latch and ended up relying on a nipple shield for the first six months of her life. Looking back now, I would have done things differently but it was my first baby and I did what I had to do to survive. Because of the awkwardness involved in using the nipple shield, I felt the need to cover up every time I fed her. I was self conscious about it and envied the Moms who could just plop their kid on the boob and continue to go about their business like it was no big deal. Slowly that got better and by the time she was almost a year old that wasn't an issue for me anymore. I still used a cover when I was in certain places because I grew up seeing other women do the same in public, but I was much more relaxed about it.
When I had Nolan all my insecurities went out the window. I remember having a point in my life where I was like, "You want me to put a blanket over my baby's face so that he can eat? That's so fucked up. I can't believe I ever even did that". Now I go by the philosophy "If you don't want to see my baby eat, then you can leave the room". There are the odd times where I do try to find a quiet place to feed him because he is a lousy eater and it's easier with no distractions. But in a pinch, I will whip the boob out anywhere if I really have to. I am also considering nursing Nolan longer than I did with Maya due to the fact that I have started to question why we give cows milk to toddlers and also because I don't plan on getting pregnant while nursing this time around (last time it really hurt to nurse while pregnant!). I remember some of my best friends telling me that they were starting to "wonder" about me when I was still breastfeeding Maya at eleven months old - like there was something wrong with me. They both weaned their LO's in the first few months. I couldn't help but feel a little resentful of their judgements, being that the judgements were coming from my friends (and especially since most doctors strongly encouraged you to give breast milk for at least the first year of life). I kept feeling the need to defend myself. Then when I did wean Maya I felt the need to defend my decision to the others who felt it was too soon, even though I knew it was the right time for us.
The point is this, ladies. We've been going on and on about this whole breastfeeding debate for quite some time now. I think it's been made clear by everyone that it is every women's basic right to breastfeed their child if they so choose to. It is their right to do it whenever and where ever and however they want. It is their right to breastfeed their child for as long as they want and it is their right to have their own opinions about breastfeeding and use those opinions to guide their parenting decisions.
This isn't the dark ages for crying out loud. Lets move on to more important things like how the heck are we not going to completely destroy our planet. I can't believe that things like this are still actually happening and that women are having to defend pictures of themselves breastfeeding on facebook to other facebook users. Seriously get over it already. It's getting old.
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